That's the End of Jury Duty for Me - for at least two years

Yippee! The Judge Set Us Free Before Lunch

I'd never been called for jury duty before, so I guess it was my time to serve. That's what the letter said anyway. I did get mine put off until the summer. I teach public speaking, so that was going to be a problem if I got a long trial. There's just no way to get a substitute for speeches. All I had to do was go to the court house and fill out a paper explaining why I'd like to serve later. They were nice about that - here anyway.

On my scheduled day (yesterday) I went down to the court house. They had a note with directions (to the jury room) at the check in point. There's a list of things you can't bring in. One is a cell phone with a camera built in. Mine doesn't have a camera, and I didn't have it with me anyway. It's a good idea to check before, so you don't have to run back to your car to leave things you're not supposed to have. My mom had to take her sewing scissors back one time.

I signed my name and sat down in a waiting room. I thought I'd need to show ID, but I didn't. Just signed and sat.

We sat for a pretty long while. Then a man went over the basics of jury duty and showed us a video. First he turned on a kid movie by accident which made everyone laugh. Then we got the right movie.

In the meantime, I guess I was bored and also itching. I scratched a mosquito bite on my arm which then started to bleed. The nice man in charge had band-aids. He gave me one.

We watched CNN for a while. Everyone was very quiet and serious until the CNN anchor said a Japanese man had come up with a novel way to make money online. He does elderly porn. Collectively the entire room laughed.

We didn't get to see the story about the elderly porn man, because they gave us a break. Well, some people stayed in there. I went out and got some peanut butter crackers. They had some snack machines - mostly empty of snacks.

Finally the judge called us in the court room. We filed in and lined up in the courtroom on the benches kind of like at church. It was cold, cold, cold in there. Maybe they keep it real cold for the judges in those big robes or maybe for criminals who may be sweaty. In any case, I strongly suggest taking a jacket to court even if it is the middle of the summer and hot enough to fry eggs on your car hood.

They randomly called out 12 names. Those people had to go up to the jury box and sit in the chairs. The rest of us just sat in the audience and listened as the judge and then the lawyer asked some questions.

One man must have wanted out of jury duty pretty bad. When the judge asked if anyone knew any of the lawyers, that guy said that he'd seen one of them on TV. Then the guy said the lawyer's commercials were tacky and that he ought to be ashamed of himself. This guy said that the lawyer had himself a good education and all and that he looked like an ambulance chaser.

Well, guess you did not have to stay and serve on the jury? That's one way out I suppose.

I've seen the commercials too, and I don't have a problem with them. But, they didn't ask me anything.

The TV lawyer did not ask the questions for his side, but he probably should have. The lawyer asking the questions kept going off on tangents about "burden of proof" and other things that flat didn't make sense. The judge kept telling the lawyer, "Just ask questions." Then, off that lawyer would go again. He must have jumbled up his question list too, because he kept asking the same questions. The judge even put his head in his hands. He also told the lawyer that he could not ask the whole group and get a "yes" by show of hands and then keep singling out individual potential jury members and asking the same thing again. We all sat there with our poker faces and tried not to notice that the questions were not going well.

That took a good bit of time with the lawyer seeming more confused than those of us who had never been to court, but the time limit came around.

The defending side got a shot at the jury box the next day (today), so we all came back except the man who hates lawyer commercials and two other ladies let go on day one. It was supposed to be another day of questions but by the other side.

Today it was much the same, but we got to watch ballgames on TV while waiting. It felt just like home, since my son has those on all the time. I just gabbed with the lady beside me. You can talk in the waiting room though no one talked much the first day. I did talk a little to a guy who likes to barbecue and told him about my web site - Yes You Can Grill. He said I should try smoking some salmon, and I think I'll do that.

Finally we all go back in the court room. The judge tells us that the case is dismissed. They can try it again within a year if they want. But - no case this week. No reason why.

You could look around and see a lot of "yippee" looks.

But . . . the judge said we might have another trial we could do. They had called those lawyers and would let us know.

Back to the waiting room.

The other case wasn't ready, so they cut us loose. This was about lunch time. I went to Wal-Mart to try to find one of those new steam mops, but they didn't have any (guess I'll have to order online). Then, I got lunch for me and the kid at BoJangles. He was glad to see me home early - or maybe just glad to see a box of chicken and fixings.

The court officials said we'd done our part. We can't be called any sooner than two years to serve jury duty (which is drawn from both voting lists and driver's license lists). We also get paid. They didn't say how much, and no one asked. I didn't even know we got paid. Some man told me he got $12 the last time he did it. Hum. Perhaps it will cover the gas for two trips to town.

That's all I can tell you about jury duty. It was mostly just sitting around and waiting. There was no case in the end, and it's back to normal around here. I'm glad to do my duty, but I'm glad I won't spend a beautiful summer week or two in a cold court room.