Wal-Mart Worker Trampled to Death on Black Friday

I really don't know what to say about shoppers busting in the door at Wal-Mart and killing a man. I thought it might be one of those "urban legends," but I checked. The New York Times reported on the Wal-Mart Black Friday death.

I like a good deal as much as the next person, but I don't like to save a buck or two enough to shop on Black Friday. This year I slept in as I do typically on Black Friday. I don't think I've ever done a shopping spree the day after Thanksgiving, because I've heard the "stories."

Last year my brother got up at some gosh awful hour like 4 a.m. to get to town and wait in line to get a deal on a laptop computer. Of course, he did not end up with the great deal computer. And, he said that folks waiting out in the cold for voucher slips were ugly - even in the South where manners are considered pretty important.

"Ugly" is one thing. Busting in the doors and killing a man is quite another thing.

When I was reading up about the Wal-Mart death, I noted that this was a guy who was in his 30s and also that he only landed a temp holiday job. Good grief. A few bucks for the holidays cost him his life.

There are some notes online about Wal-Mart not doing what they should do to protect employees. Frankly, I can't imagine that Wal-Mart (or any store) should expect shoppers to bust in the doors and walk all over an employee.

Times are tough. I know that. But, there's no excuse for this type of shopping frenzy. Nothing that Wal-Mart sells could be worth the life of a man who was only trying to do his job.

My heart goes out to the family of the man who died standing behind the doors at Wal-Mart, and I hope that the shoppers who rushed the door will think about what is really important in this world.

Could you go to jail for leaving neutral feedback on Ebay?

People are nuts, but you probably knew that. Some guy has sued Steve Shelhorn, because he left neutral feedback on Ebay.

If you've never shopped Ebay, then they have a system where you can rate the shopping experience. Feedback can be positive, neutral or negative. Simple enough - in theory.

Until recently, both buyers and sellers could leave feedback. In other words, you could buy an item off Ebay and be rated. Hum. Let's see. Can you imagine that Wal-Mart or Belks or your favorite fast food restaurant hands you a score after you stop in and drop some bucks.

The Ebay brass decided to do away with the rating the buyer thing. Too much abuse. There were some real Ebay horror stories regarding this mutual feedback thing.

I used to buy at Ebay (and do - for the record - have 100% on my feedback), but I avoid Ebay pretty much now. I got tired of the emails begging for feedback, and that's how they came off - no matter how they were worded. Typically, I left positive feedback. If things weren't just perfect, I'd usually just let it go. After a while, I quit leaving feedback for those sellers who sent emails telling me that once I left feedback, they would bless me with a positive as a buyer. Paying up and almost instantly (with PayPal) wasn't good enough. If I wanted a vote of confidence (when I really didn't much care), I'd have to go first. I'm sure some sellers will justify that. You can click to the Ebay discussion boards and see all manner of explaining and complaining about buyers.

In the few cases where I did leave neutrals or negative feedback, I explained.

Fortunately, I was never sued.

It really blows my mind that some coin seller filed a court case against some guy who rated the transaction neutral on Ebay.

What is neutral? It's neutral. Not great. Not bad.

Poor Steve. He had to pay a lawyer $500 to defend him in this bogus law suit.

From what I understand, Ebay does dock rankings for neutrals, but buyers would not know that. If coin guy has an issue with how he stacks up when he gets a neutral, then he should take that up with Ebay and not take it out on Steve.

Steve isn't planning on leaving any more feedback on Ebay. Who could blame him? It's nice to give other buyers the heads up, and that is the idea with feedback. Unfortunately, that's been gamed so bad at Ebay, that you have to find someone close to 100% to feel safe. You think 85% runs a "B" level like at school. Oh no. Buy from someone with that kind of rank, and buyer beware.

The really sad thing is that most sellers and most buyers at Ebay are good people. Someone has something to sell. Someone wants that something. They work out the deal online. Happy all round. I know I've been pleased with a number of items I've picked up at Ebay.

I did get burned a couple of times, and Ebay really wasn't any help at all. That backed me off on the site. Now, I really will think twice about Ebay. I'd sure hate to pick up some little knickknack or iPod or tea and end up in court. If I do buy again, I'll remember that old saying, "If you can't something nice, don't say anything at all." But, that means that the bad sellers (or just average neutral sellers) get a "pass." I'd like to tell it how it is (in those rare cases where someone is scamming), but it's not worth getting sued like Steve.

One Almost Grown - And One Brand New Baby

Happy Birthday


And Home with the Little One

When I talk about "the boys," that's two of mine and their two best buddies. The guys have been tight since back in kindergarten. That's one good thing about small towns. You can make and keep friends for life.

I was surprised when I found out my friend (the mother of the other two guys in the foursome) was expecting. Whew! We've got these almost raised, and she's starting over. I was thinking, "Perish the thought." That's on me having another one. I was quite excited about this one on the way.

Today was the second oldest of the Fabulous Four's birthday (Happy Birthday!), and the baby made her first public appearance. She was early and had been at the hospital. This week she came home at a little under six pounds.

What a cutie. I almost wished I had another one . . . but not quite. I think I'll just borrow my friend's little one. I'm not really used to girls, so maybe I could learn some new games, or maybe she'll like to play in the dirt and bring me snakes and frogs too.

If Elizabeth Dole Threw a Party, Would You Go?

I was pretty shocked when Elizabeth Dole ran an ad that ended with a Kay Hagan's picture and a voice (not Kay's as I've discovered) saying, "There is no God." Hagan must have been taken aback too. She has filed suit against Dole for defamation and libel.

Damage control by Dole is another nasty ad. She asks, "If the godless Americans threw a party in your honor, would you go?"

Come on. Who are "godless" Americans? Are they non-Christians? Are they people who sleep in on Sunday morning? Are they people who smoke? People who drink? People who gamble? People who eat Twinkies?

Or, are they just people who don't think like you do?

Or, are they people who don't vote for you?

If Elizabeth Dole threw a party, would you go? If you're from North Carolina, then you'd probably have to get a plane ticket. Dole isn't in North Carolina enough days per year to qualify for in state college tuition. Perhaps she's off partying? Wonder if she checks to see if all her hosts are god-approved, Jesus-stamped hosts?

Kay Hagan Responds to Elizabeth Dole "godless" ad

It didn't take Kay Hagan long to repsond to the "godless" commercial I mentioned in my last blog post. Shortly after I saw the Dole ad, the online posts started cranking up.

If you've missed the commercial, Dole had a thirty second spot that said that Kagan took money from atheists - or godless Americans. The really troubling part, in my opinion, was the end. That showed Hagan's photo and a voice over saying, "There is no God." The voice did sound like Hagan. In fact, I thought perhaps it was a sound bite taken out of context. In fact, that was not Kagan at all. That's where I think the ad really got dirty. Frankly, the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth, but you just don't do a voice over with a photo when the person didn't make the statement.

Hagan was none too happy. She sent a "cease and desist" letter to Dole. Hagan is calling the ad slander. In fact, it would legally be libel rather than slander, since it's recorded. In any case, Hagan is saying the ad damages her reputation. In North Carolina, being called "godless" is a pretty serious charge. This is the South and the Bible Belt.

Dole refuses to can the ad.

Hagan now has a rebuttal ad out in North Carolina.



Frankly I think that the godless ad will hurt Dole. It's very down and dirty, and that doesn't play well in North Carolina.

Dole should be focusing on the issues and not leading a witch hunt.

CNNBC video - Wake Your Friends Up with a Funny Political Video

A friend sent me a political video today that said that I tipped the 2008 presidential election. I clicked on the link and saw myself as the star of a newscast saying that I didn't bother to get out of bed and that McCain won, because I did not cast my vote.

Now, I'm not saying which way I'm voting. That's personal.

I will, however, say that the video is clever and funny as heck.

The way this works is that you click on the link I put in the first paragraph. You then put in your buddies name and email.

Buddy gets the video link. He or she clicks and then sees what looks like a newscast saying that he/she was the lone voter who made the difference in the election. The show looks real (like a news spot online). Your friend sits there and sees this newscast that looks like the real deal but is only customized and viewable to that person. The name is plugged in here and there to make it look like your buddy is featured. It's kind of like those little customized books that kids like that have them starring in the book.

Do note that you may flip out a friend with this joke video, because it does look so real and work so well. I really scared a buddy who thought I made the video and had posted it. No way. I would not do that to anyone, and I don't have the tech skills even if I wanted to do that.

My friend had a good laugh when I explained it all.

This high tech voting joke is "Paid for by MoveOn.org Political Action, http://pol.moveon.org/. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee." That's just copied from the page. So, you can look and check out the group if you want.

This is a great example of how online marketers can really customize materials to specific users, so regardless of your political leanings, you should find this interesting.

If you want to double check, just click in and send the joke video to yourself. Then, you can see what would go out.

They note on the site that they do not keep your information or spam you, and this did make it through the filters here on my computer.

If you're looking for a laugh and if your buddies have a sense of humor, this really is a classic online spoof video.

Have fun - but don't send this to anyone who is the really nervous type.

Godless American Smear on Kay Hagan - Wow - I Don't Know What to Say About That Mrs. Dole

Politics do get dirty, but I was really shocked at the TV commercial this evening that basically called Kay Hagan the daughter of Satan.

The commercial said that Hagan takes money from a group called Godless Americans PAC and suggested that she supports a number of changes that would not fly well in a conservative state like North Carolina. This was done indirectly by simply linking her to the group and then having quotes from members of the group.

The commercial ended with Kay Hagan saying something that sounded like, "There is no God . . ." (big voice taper . . . clearly cut short).

I don't know the context of the quote that sounded like it came from Hagan. I do recall that once, long ago, the preacher at our church quoted scripture, "A fool hath said, 'There is no God.'" My little brother was kind of tuned out (as younger kids may be at church). My Mom asked him what the message at church had been. He, at the age of around 6 or 7, said that the sermon was about how there's no God. So, context makes a big difference.

When I saw this commercial, I thought it must be supported by a radical group (and certainly not part of the main campaign). It simply didn't sound mainstream or very professional. When the piece ended with, "I'm Elizabeth Dole, and I support this commercial" (or whatever the wording is on such commericals - sorry I have no TiVo), I was frankly speechless. Was it some kind of Halloween joke? If so - not funny.

The race in North Carolina has been hot and nasty, but someone better show me some darn sure proof that Hagan is the anti-Christ before putting a one minute sound blurb on TV that totally trashes her. That was wrong on some many levels that I'm still shaking my head.

I'm one of those up-in-the-air voters. Frankly, I'm not impressed period. It would suit me to wipe the slate clean and get a whole new batch up there to vote on, although I know that's not going to happen.

The new Dole commerical is the lowest blow I've seen from any candidate in an election that has been riddled with nasty jabs.

I've always known Elizabeth Dole to be a classy lady and from this county (though does not hang here much). She did fund and build out local Red Cross building. I can't imagine that she put her verbal stamp on such a horrible body slam commercial on another candidate. I'd hate to think that Dole would go that low even if Kay Hagan is the daughter of Satan (which she obviously isn't).

I would never talk that ugly about my own worst enemy. And, I am disappointed that Dole would do so. In fact, I think that ad helped me make up my mind about my vote.

Update:

Kay Hagan didn't think much of that "godless" commercial either. The News & Observer covered a press conference this morning:

"State Sen. Kay Hagan says she'll go to court to seek a cease-and-desist order against U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Dole's campaign if the "godless" TV spot isn't pulled in the next 24 hours."

The godless Kay Hagan commercial is on You Tube. Readers can watch and make up their own minds.

Birthday Gift from Belks was Not Too Special

Happy Birthday to Me - but No Thanks to Belks

I was pleased to get a card from Belks department stores for my birthday. They really didn't have to do that, and they really shouldn't have.

This Belks card says, "Celebrate Your Birthday with a Gift from Belks" on the front. When I open up the flap, it says, "Our Gift to You." It's $10 off on my single regular or sale purchase of $50 or more.

I go to Belks and find a short swing coat that I love. It's $59.99 I think - something in that range. Good deal. I can get the cute coat and save $10. That's a nice birthday suprise.

When I get to the register, the code scan won't work. The sales girl is new, and she doesn't know why the code won't work, so she calls someone with more experience.

Experienced sales lady comes over. She sees my coat and the birthday card. She tells the girl that usually these codes don't work, because people think that they can get several items for $50 and then take off $10. The kicker is the "single regular or sale priced purchase." That means it must be one item and not more than one adding up to $50. That's not very clear, and it's pretty lame. But, OK. I only got one item - an expensive one. Experienced sales lady tells new sales girl to try the code again. She tries twice. It won't work.

The lady who has been working longer asks if the item is a special purchase. Heck, I don't know. It's a coat. It was on a rack in the ladies section.

Experienced lady goes and checks and says that the coat is a "special purchase." Well, I don't think it's very special when it voids my birthday card. It sure doesn't say special purchase on the sales tag.

I'm really not the "whatever" type, but in this case, that was my thought. I spent about an hour shopping and only found the coat and really wanted it. So, I paid for the special purchase coat, but I still did not find this whole thing particularly special.

The sales lady did tell me that the clause about "special purchases" was in the fine print. Heck, I couldn't read that font size. I wouldn't have been able to identify the coat as a "special purchase" anyway. What does that mean? Who knows?

When I got home, I got out my reading glasses and read the fine print on the birthday card. Whew boy. You would not believe all the brands and items listed as not qualifying for the birthday gift card coupon. No Levis or Dockers. No Coach or Mattel. The brand list was long. Then the special purchases, red dots, early birds and so on were off limits. Heck, you couldn't even buy maternity cothes - not like I need those. But still . . . Don't even think about fragrances or make-up or jewelry. Bamp. Wrong purchase for your birthday.

The young sales girl did say that she was sorry and asked if I still wanted the coat. I did. I was not impressed with how this went down, but it wasn't her fault. I've found our local sales folks at Belks to be really helpful. They can't help it if the home office pulls a bad prank like sending a birthday gift that is not a gift at all - just a tactic to get me in the store thinking I get $10 off.

So, this post is really for the Belks corporate office. This is a sneaky way to do business. Don't send me a birthday gift card and then limit it so much that I'm paying full price on almost anything I pick. That's just wrong. Yeah. You got me in the store. You sold me a coat. But, it will be a while before I drop any more bucks at Belks. I have been a regular customer. That birthday coupon scam didn't impress me even a little bit. Don't bother if you're not going to do it right. You got me today. I'll know better in the future.

The Free Ride is Over - Why Did the Baby Boomers Think They Deserved So Many Years of Leisure?

Baby Boomers - Enjoying the Good Life


I’m not surprised our economic system is imploding. I’ve always been a “pay as I go” kind of person. When I get calls or flyers saying I don’t have to make any payments until way off in the future, I just scratch my head. If I don’t have the money today, what makes me (or them) think I’ll have it in a couple of years. Whatever I bought on this strange payment plan probably is worn or broken by the time they want the money. There's no fun in paying off the past, but we're sure doing that and in many ways.

The Baby Boomers rocked our world and continue to do so. I must confess that I’m on the tail end of that generation. But, I’m clearly not part of the “in crowd.” The true Boomers retire at age 65. The tail enders, from 1961 and down, bounce up to age 67. Had I been born a year earlier, I’d enjoy two extra years of benefits. Now, I’ll pay two extra years.

I’m not complaining about working and paying my way. That’s the way it should be, and that’s where the Boomers got off track. They enjoyed the house, white picket fence, two kids, and a dog and then got a 12 year bonus to kick back and take it easy.

When Social Security was put in place, the average lifespan was 65 years. Hum. What do those numbers tell you? Well, the idea was that the last little bit of time on earth could be spent enjoying the fruits of a life well spent. Actually, many never made it to retirement and collection. Social Security was meant to be a true program for the elderly and infirm so that they didn’t work right up until death (though many did initially).

With advances in modern medicine, the lifespan is now 77 years in the United States. Instead of providing a cushion for a few months or years (or maybe not at all), we guarantee most people 12 years of leisure. And, many push that. I'll be attending a birthday party for a woman who turns 100 years old later this month.

I was watching TV yesterday and some woman was moaning, because she was not going to be able to retire at 50 as she planned. She noted that she’d worked very hard and that all her dreams had been shattered by the downturn in the economy. She honestly thought that she deserved 27 years of retirement.

This poor woman who would be working a couple of extra years to make up for a 401K drop was crying. Now, money does not grow on trees. Tucking cash back that grows and grows is not the same as earning a dollar. The money comes from somewhere and usually off the poor who buy things but do not earn off those things. The lady thought she earned the right to sponge for 47 out of her 77 years on this earth, but she ought to go dig a ditch or two and see how fast her savings compound on minimum wage. That might give her a real appreciation for hard work.

Life in the United States has been very cushy for the last few decades. If you consider the extended childhood in this country with the average age of gainful employment around 20 years and a retirement of 65, then the average person would expect to contribute only 32 years in the workforce out of a lifetime. This must be shocking to those from other countries where kids work from the time they can walk and the elderly struggle right up to the last breath.

When Social Security started, there were 12 people paying in for every one person benefitting from the program. Now 2 to 5 are paying for every person getting a monthly check. Does something seem wrong with that math?

Furthermore, this new generation does not have the option (in most cases) of a single income family. Many women of the Baby Boom generation had the choice as to whether to stay home and care for their children and then collect on the higher rates of men in the workforce. Toady, most families can’t make it without two incomes. Children of the children of Baby Boomers pay big for this. These are the grandchildren. They go to child care in infancy so that Mom and Dad can help pay for retirement for Grandpa and Grandma.

I am considered by many accounts to be a Baby Boomer, but I never did think that I’d live to see decades of free time (and I was right). I worked and paid my way. I’ll be hitting that wall with the higher pay out age on Social Security (the first wave). So, I’ll work some more. That’s fine. I wasn’t expecting a rose garden and didn’t get one – other than maybe the thorns.

Cloris Leachman for President - Has Everyone Gone Nuts?

“Vampires, mummies and the holy ghost. These are the things that scare me the most,” says Jimmy Buffet in an old CD called Fruitcakes. He also says in the title song that we’ve all got a little fruitcake in us.

Fruitcakes came to mind when I was watching Dancing with the Stars on TV this week. I’m not a regular viewer of the program, but I’ve always thought it was a good show and have enjoyed watching the dances.

I can only imagine that a fruitcake came up with the idea to feature Cloris Leachman on Dancing with the Stars.

Last week Cloris dressed in a short 50s style costume and did an old-time, teeny-bop dance. She didn’t bother to learn any of the steps. She just went on stage and played the buffoon. In addition to pretending her dance partner (poor Corky Ballas) farted, she let her wig fly. While some onliners are talking about that being hilarious, it wasn’t. It was a planned stunt. She says so in the interviews afterwards. She was wearing a skull cap that said, “Vote for me.” That flew with the wig. It was a stupid stunt, and I think Cloris was the only one who thought it was really funny.

Cloris Leachman has had a grand career and is liked and respected across generations. It is really unfortunate that she feels the need to celebrate her senior years by being the village idiot on Dancing with the Stars. It really isn’t funny seeing an icon reduced to throwing her leg up on the judges table and showing cleavage in a bid to stay on a program that is supposed to be about talent and not about one old woman with a big ego and a big bawdy mouth.

The sad part is that Cloris Leachman could learn the basic dance steps and toss in a little humor and make a strong and positive statement about growing older. Instead, she plays the age card and gets a pass when she has contributed nothing at all to the show.

Sadder still is that the same people who are voting to keep Cloris Leachman on Dancing with the Stars will be voting on who will be the President of the United States. That’s even scarier than “vampires, mummies, and the holy ghost [and Cloris Leachman].”

Let the School Sales Begin - No Neighbor Left Behind When the Kids Go Begging

Enough Already

I just bought $100 in candy. No. I am not a pig. Well, I can be. But, I do not buy candy in bulk. I did this time though, because the pizza and cheese cakes my kid just sold for a school group have not even arrived. I pick him up at school, and he has two big bags of candy. One hundred candy bars. Count 'em. I didn't. I just wrote out the check. My kid just sold over $400 in pizza/cakes, and he is not going door-to-door and hitting the neighbors up for candy when he's not even delivered the other goods.

This is not even the official school beg-a-thon. From what I gather, they decided to send a recorded phone message asking every child to carry in $20. This would be fine if it meant no door-to-door sales. I got hit with this one when the boys were in elementary school. They said to send money. Then, you would not need to worry about school fundraisers. I sent in $20 for each of the boys. I guess I was the only one (or one of the few). A couple of weeks later, I got the Christmas wrapping paper and knickknack sales papers. If the boys didn't sell any of that stuff, they had to sit out on the magic show. Hum . . . I think I did suggest that it sounded like in school suspension. I was told, however, that I was looking at it all wrong. The magic show was a reward for sales. Getting stuck in the room while the others went to the show - priceless I suppose.

This is the season for putting kids on the street. It's not just the schools. The Boy Scouts push that grossly overpriced popcorn. I still have a can from last year. Maybe it will age like fine wine, or maybe I just tossed $15 bucks down the drain. The Scouts do "Friends of Scouting" right on the heels of the popcorn. That's vague. That's because it's money to pay the executives who make starting salaries higher than I make after ten years on the job. I didn't know I needed to apply to a non-profit organization to make a decent salary. I also didn't know that very few Eagle Scouts make it in the Scout organization on the executive level, because they are focused on programs and not on selling popcorn. I learned that when doing research on such programs. The United Way in this area had a huge scandal. I thought it made sense to see where my money might be going. It would probably be better not to know. It's simply hard to turn down a kid selling stuff, and these groups know that and play it.

One question does cross my mind, "What do kids learn from all this selling of stuff that most people don't even need or want?"

Want More People to Visit Your Area?

There are so many neat things to do in North Carolina as I'm sure there are in any state. It's hard to get the word out though as I'm sure many folks know who work with local tourism or who plan events and hope for a nice turn out.

My friend Greta Lint (a tourism promoter and consultant) works with communities in helping promote areas and events, and she's doing a session on blogging to increase foot traffic. That could be for your company, business, event - whatever you want to share with the world (or even a little slice of the world).

The really great news is that Greta is offering a free session at the ConvergeSouth blogger user's conference in Greensboro on Friday, October 17 at 3 p.m. That will be at North Carolina A&T University of Greensboro, NC.

Don't worry if you don't have a clue about blogging. Greta will cover all the basics and even help you get started blogging, so be sure to bring your wireless laptop.

If you need more information see ConvergeSouth or email Greta at greta@gretalint.com

I sure wish I could go, but I work too late that day to make it up to Greensboro. So, I guess folks will have to check back in later and let me know all about it.

Rules for Working with Bloggers

REMEMBER - There is a Real Person Behind that Blog


How NOT to tick off Bloggers

I had some questions from a media person about dealing with big, bad bloggers. Long story. We got off on rather the wrong foot I think. She’s print. I’m net. Big world difference there. In reality, I’m a crossover and go back and forth between magazines, tech writing, and then online work. So, I do understand that the social rules vary greatly. Blogiquette is definitely different, and here are some general rules for dealing with those strange creatures who blog online.

Rule 1

Know your blogger and his or her site. Most blogs are personal spots handled by a single person. You’re not dealing with a mega corporation. Usually, it’s just someone in the living room plunking away on the keyboard. Read a couple of posts and the bio before making contact.

If you think I’m a man, since I use the handle Barbecue Master on one blog, then you didn’t look very close (or at all). I actually got that title when writing for another site, and it did, in fact, sound better than Barbecue Mistress. For my own work, I generally use my real name (Cyndi Allison) or Grill Girl.

Rule 2

Remember that most blogs don’t make much (if any) money. Sure. Some folks are getting rich blogging – but not very many. Particularly when you’re looking at a niche area, you’re probably checking out someone who is simply blogging because they love the topic area.

It’s rare that you provide anything (information for posting - in particular) that will benefit the blogger in any great way. Most bloggers are much shorter on time than on material.

So, you’re really asking for a favor if you want your information posted on someone’s blog. That’s fine – just be aware that you’re not blessing the blogger with information.

I get some delightful emails from Weber (the grill company) and from Hearth, Patio & Barbecue Association (HPBA). They use my name and let me know that they have some information that I might be interested in or that my readers might want to know about. They keep it short and provide contact information if I have more questions.

Rule 3

Print material does not work well online. People don’t read the same way online that they do sitting down with paper. If you’re sending over a standard press release, most bloggers won’t post it. A blogger may use some of the information and may link – but shoveling content from print to online doesn’t work well.

In addition, if you’re asking a number of bloggers or webmasters to post the same material, you’re creating duplicate content. That can be an issue online. Search engines may think the blog or site is a "copy and paste" spam site if it includes a lot of materials elsewhere online.

Rule 4

When you visit and post a comment, be aware that many bloggers have blogs set to accept or reject posts. You likely will not see your comment immediately. That doesn't mean it disappeared. It's sitting there waiting for approval from the person who hosts the blog. Don't post again and again. That looks like spam when the blogger does click in.

Rule 5

If you post a comment unrelated to the blog and/or the blogger, then you probably won't see your comment. If the blog is about kayaking, then the blogmaster is not likely to leave up random comments about electronic gadgets for sale. That won't impress the readers who visit for a specific topic.

Rule 6

Some bloggers do trade out links. Some do not. Check. If the blogger does not have a long list of "my favorite sites" or "see these blogs too" or something along those lines, then he or she probably is not a link trader.

While it may help to get link trades, I don't do that. And, I think Google will take a look at that some day. Too much back scratching.

On the other hand, I do often mention other sites, blogs, events and so on in my blog posts (like Weber and HPBA above). I just do it when it works for my readers. And, I don't ask for anything in return. Sure. I love links too. But, I hope they will be links that are earned and not just trade off links.

Rule 7

If a blogger does post your materials or mentions your site or event and so on, then a “thanks” is in order. It does not have to be a long and gushy email. Even three letters – tks – that’s fine.

*********

I’m sure there are more tips that I’ll think of later. One good thing about a blog is that it can be updated over and over.

Time Warner Cable Got on My Last Nerve

I wrote out my check for $167 to Time Warner Cable yesterday. That is the bundle with TV, Internet and phone. No premium channels. I'm too cheap, and Time Warner charges too much anyway.

I was just rolling with the flow and paying Time Warner Cable. There really aren't options around here. There's Dish, but I've seen that and what a mess. As far as phone and internet, it's nice to have it bundled though that was a pretty good deal to start with and has gone up, up, up.

The reason I'm hopping mad at Time Warner Cable is because they changed the menu screen to blue with white letters. There is a reason most content is black on white. That is so you can actually read it. The new color scheme is just pretty as pie, but I can't read it. Well, I can if I get up out of the Lazy Boy chair and stand about a foot in front of the TV.

No. My vision is not perfect. It's 20/40. I can still drive legally without glasses. And I can see the TV just fine and could read the menu until someone got the idea to pretty that up and put white letters on a blue background.

Now I have to get up and stand in front of the TV to see what is playing. I seldom watch TV. When I do, I want to relax and not stand there with the remote trying to read the screen which was fine the way it was but not fine the way it is now.

I did call Time Warner Cable. They are "sorry [I] I feel that way." Hey. I don't feel I can't see the menu. I flat can't see, and that's a fact and not a feeling. I feel they need to fix it, and I feel they charge too much. And, I'm sorry they don't care that I can't read the menu now that they made it blue with white letters.

Maybe I should mail them a mad mail with red letters on black paper and see how they like that. I feel they would not like that one bit, but I'm not sorry they would feel that way about it.

Gas in the South - Good Luck Filling Your Tank

I like to stick my head in the sand (not that we have any sand in the Piedmont of North Carolina), so I've been closing my eyes and pressing "no" on the receipt for gas. Of course, I pay the credit card bill for gas and everything else, but I'd just as soon not examine the damage every few days.

It's hard to play clueless when there's just flat not any gas. The last time I gassed up, I skipped my usual station with the $20 limit (like how far does that go in a SUV). The next station had great gas prices, of course, because they simply did not have any gas. Boy, I'd list it low too if I didn't have any to sell. Well, no, I wouldn't. But, I guess that's a plan.

I'm out in the country, so I hit the last station on the way to the boonies and got some petro. If you're down with road trips, you can find gas (and no lines) out in the middle of nowhere. Of course, you burn a lot of gas getting to such remote locations (and back).

Today the BP in Salisbury, NC had some gas. The limit was $40 instead of $20 like last week. I chatted with the cashier, and she said they had to bump it up, because people were driving on by with the $20 limit - so no inside sales either. They have some great prices on Pepsi, milk, and eggs, so I usually gas up and load up on the way home.

My BP cashier did say that they hoped to have gas through noon tomorrow, but she said that they'd had a lot of folks in and that they might run out before dark. Good thing I went early I guess.

I hate to even turn on the TV and hear about the hour long waits to get gas and about people having to push vehicles up to the pump that run out of gas just waiting in line. It's not that bad here, but we have those purchase limits and stations running out of fuel.

I won't even get started on the price of groceries. Whew. Are they putting gold in those boxes of cereal now instead of plastic toys? You'd think so. Oh well, if there's no gas to get to the grocery store, then I guess the cereal can just sit on the shelf.

No Child Left Behind Who Can Buy Kleenex

I really don't get the extra credit at schools these days. You can buy Kleenex or dry erase markers and send in, and your kid gets extra grade points. You can also go to Open House. Same deal. Your kid gets extra credit on his or her grade.

Is it just me, or does this not make any sense at all?

Maybe the kid can do some extra work and learn something and get some points, but how does Kleenex or going to Open House mean your kid gets more grade points? Hey, I can afford some Kleenex and do send some. I can haul myself down to Open House which usually is just kind of a wasted evening at a big school. That's all fine. But, I don't see how that has anything to do with grades. What about the family that doesn't have any extra money for dry erase markers or no car or gas money to go to Open House? Or the ones who work odd shifts and are at work during such events? Too bad it seems. No extra points for those kids.

I don't even know if this Kleenex, going to Open House, or signing mid term reports make enough difference to boost a grade. If not, then it's just kind of a silly game. If it does change grades, then I really do wonder what that teaches our kids.

Maybe they can send home a donation sheet home with levels of giving that raise grades by letter. Give $100 - your child's grade goes up a letter and so on. Do I think that's fair? No. Of course not. Do I think these other little incentive programs are a good idea. Nope. Grades are earned. Donations are gifts. Going to PTA is probably a good idea until it gets to the point where you're sitting in front of a TV and listening to stuff that could be sent home on paper and make more sense.

"I'm sorry you feel that way." - Dumbest comment ever thought up.

I hate psychobabble and the latest commercial catch phrases that don't mean a hill of beans. My all time most hated customer brush off comment is, "I'm sorry you feel the way." I believe that phrase was first used by psychologists to placate clients and now used by every person working on the planet who doesn't have enough sense to say something meaningful.

This week I called Time Warner Cable about the change to a blue screen with white letters. There is a reason that print is usually black on white - so you can read it. White letters on blue - give me a break. Even with a fairly large TV I have to get about a foot away to read what's on now.

I told the tech support guy (since they did not have a button push option for feedback or raise cain) that I can't read the menu now that they made it blue with white letters.

Tech guy says, "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Do what?

I did not make a statement of feeling. I made a statement of fact. It is a fact that I can't read the screen. It is not some feeling I have.

Why is the guy really sorry?

He is probably sorry that:

1. I called.
2. Another tech guy did not get the call.
3. He works the night shift at Time Warner Cable.
4. He said that about "sorry you feel that way" and got an ear full.

OK. I did tell him that I figured he did not make my TV screen blue and that he had been told to tell customers that he's sorry they feel that way. So, I cut him a break. But I did tell him that saying he's sorry I feel that way is not fixing the problem and not making my evening.

Maybe customer service training should include some logic. If someone says, "I think the shows on tonight are boring," then it might make sense to say, "Sorry you feel that way." On the other hand, if someone says, "It's raining outside," then, "Sorry you feel that way" makes no sense at all. And, that's how most customer service reps use that tired phrase - randomly and illogically.

If you don't like my post, then - "Sorry you feel that way." Well, actually not. I wrote it. I own it. If you don't like it, then there is a back button. I would be sorry you went away but not, "Sorry you feel that way." I respect my readers more than that. And, I figure that folks can see the world through different colored glasses without offering fake validation that doesn't make anyone feel any better and doesn't fix the blue menu screen with white letters on my TV screen either.

Grilling on my Dad's Old Cast Iron Grill - New York Strip Steaks

An Oldie but a Goodie - Cast Iron Grill Box Style - Vintage Family Grill


New York Strip Steaks - Just About Ready to Come Off the Grill

My brother was coming in today to fix the light cover on my Mom's car. Long story. I won't say how that happened to get busted. In any case, my brother had me take photos and get the car VIN number, so he could get the light cover and paint and fix the car back up.

Mom wanted to have a nice lunch. She doesn't cook much these days. She mentioned steak, and I offered to grill them. It's hard to be inside and outside on a meal, but as a single Mom I've learned that juggling act. As I thought back, I guess it was probably always Dad or one of us kids who did the outside cooking.

The grill was out when I arrived. That was a blast from the past. My Dad died in a traffic accident two year ago. I hadn't seen the grill since then and hadn't cooked on it in years, since I usually do the grilling over here on my Weber grill.

I'd say the old grill must be 30 to 40 years old. When you hear, "They don't make them like that anyone," that's true here. I worked in a metal shop during high school, and I' say this is a solid cast iron grill. Definately it's heavy, but it does have one set of wheels for rolling. The grill has held up over all those many years and grillings, so it's certainly a study high grade of metal. The only damage on the grill is a broken hinge on the right side of the lid cover.

It's a box style grill rather than a kettle shape like Weber. Most all the old grills I've seen or used were in this shape. They're a little harder to regulate and the food is closer to the fire with this shape, but it's fine especially if you've had some experience grilling.

With a box shape grill, I put the coals heavier on one side and lighter on the other. Steaks can go down on the hot side and seal and then over to the cooler side for additional cooking for those who like steaks cooked more than rare. With the cast iron and the excellent conduction of heat, the entire grill maintains a high temperature, but it is possible to maintain some cooler space by using fewer (or even no) coals to one side.

Mom had hoped to get tenderloin steak, but Food Lion did not have any. She went with New York Strip. That's a good steak for grilling as well. There are numerous other names for NY Strip like Kansas City Steak and top loin steak, and hotel cut steak. The meat is cut from the loin across the back of the cow. It is tender, because cows do not do backbends, cartwheels and such. Tougher steaks are ones where the muscles are used more often - an example would be round steak (hard to get right on a grill). New Strip does not have as much marbling as a Rib Eye, but the fat ratio is good for grilling. Some strips are cut away from the bone and some include a small strip of bone but not in the T shape like t-bone steak.

I used a little marinade for a half hour or so to tenderize and to add flavor. New York Strips can also be rubbed and cooked without marinade. I prefer to marinate but not for too long. More than a couple of hours and the meat kind of breaks down - too much tenderizing.

Mom made salads, baked potatoes (both Irish and sweet) and rolls. I'd pop in and give her an estimate on the time for the steak. Dad never did that, and it's kind of hard to be the indoor person and not have some idea on the time.

The meal was delicious. I could have gone a minute or so less on the steaks. It had been so long since I'd cooked on it that it was hard to nail it. Knowing your grill makes a real difference. This grill was familiar and brought back good memories, but it had been years since I'd cooked on it.

If you happen to run across an old cast iron grill, buy it. You'll have a good one. This one has a lot of mileage, but I could see even a glance that it's good for many more years of grilling.

If you love to grill out or want to learn more about barbecue cooking, check out my site Yes You Can Grill. I have loads of tips, ideas and recipes, and I'm adding more outdoor cooking stuff all the time.

Redneck Rules for Dating - Ya Can't Make This Stuff Up

This here sign really is posted at a store I visited. Makes a body wonder if someone had some of the Bud before making the sign.

I grew up in the South, but I still find some of the customs confusing. The most recent I considered was male courtship patterns. Seems some of the guys have it figured out - or not. Cross my heart. I did not make these up. I'm creative - but not to this extent.

Redneck Dating Rule 1 - Wear Your Work Uniform When You Go Out Looking for a Date

I had to ask my brother about this one. He said that some of the guys he hires to do landscaping wear uniforms out. I do not mean uniforms like military or police uniforms. I mean the ones with your name in a circle over stripes or even your Wendy's hamburger shirt.

My brother said that the guys say these work uniforms say, "I have a job." Girls like that.

Redneck Dating Rule 2 - Don't Spend Any Money on a Girl

The guy who told me this one said that other guys will buy the drinks. You just sit there. By the end of the night, the girl doesn't even remember who bought the drinks anyway. The guy buying is probably sloshed too. That's when you make your move. This is a freebie, unless she gets pregnant. Then, you have to marry her or pay child support. Then, the plan is not so grand.

Redneck Dating Rule 3 - Always Go to Her House - Never to Your House

The way this one was explained was that if you bring a girl home, then you are stuck having to be nice the next morning. She may want to stay a while or forever. If you go to her house, you can make up some excuse about having to work or do something. You have an "out."

Redneck Dating Rule 4 - Get a Cell Phone - and Learn to Use It

Everyone knows that cell phones can go wacky. If you don't like how the conversation is going, start saying, "Huh? What? I can't hear you. Are you there?" Press the button to hang up. Swear later that you ran outside the cell zone.

Redneck Dating Rule 5 - If You Don't Want to Pay for Heating Oil

Times are tough. If you are out of money for heating oil or food or such or if you need some dental work, then don't pay child support. Do the right thing and go turn yourself in. If you time this right, you can weather the cold months in county. You get a bed, three squares, unlimited TV and weight room time, and you can rest up for another round of womanizing come spring.

Well, shut my mouth. I probably should not tell everything I hear. But, those rules were just too good to keep to myself. I did do the guys a favor and did not post photos other than my favorite generic shot from the quick stop. I hate to derail someone's dating life. On the other hand, I'm not dating. If you wonder why, just review these interesting rules I've heard around these parts.

I am Woman - Hear Me Roar - Bad Move McCain

I had been on the fence as far as the presidential election 2008. I've never been a straight ticket voter. I try to read up and select the best person. And I do mean "person." I don't care about race or gender. I want a good president - period.

In considering the two choices (Obama and McCain), I was a bit up in the air. I liked waht Obama was saying, but I did feel that he was a little inexperienced to take the top seat. I appreciated McCain's servive to the country and that he had been a POW. McCain's views are pretty conservative, and I'm thinking he may continue a War I never supported. With boys ages 15 and 18, that's worrisome.

When McCain announced yesterday his pick of Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska I knew that I would not be voting for him. It's not that I have a thing against Palin (although find her very rigid in her stances after reading up). Never heard of her before. Who has? She's just not done her time and is not prepared to be second in command. Also, I think McCain picked her ONLY because she is female and young. That I do not appreciate. He kisses her cheek on stage, but I read reports that he's only seen her once in person before picking her to be his sidekick. How odd is that - the cheek kiss and the blind date approach? Does McCain think all women are morons?

This race has been different. We have seen the African American community and females represented in the race - but I don't think either group likes tokenism. I know I don't. Obama could have used a few more years on him, but he's OK. Palin really has no business being in the race to run the country. She is an impressive woman - just not ready to be the VP. That's not her fault. McCain is the one who made a bad decision. Palin would have been nuts to pass up the chance - maybe. Running for VP may be more than she bargained for. It's more than I bargained for ( her running). I'm not putting my money or vote on someone who does not have a track record and who could move from the VP to top spot in a heartbeat (or lack of one).

Took My Kid to College - Happy But Hard Day

My Son in His Dorm Room at UNC Chapel Hill

I've heard parents talk about waiting for the day they get their kid or kids out of the house. Maybe they were just joking around. I know I've never thought about or said I wanted my kids to move out. I knew they would eventually, but I was sure not counting the days.

Yesterday I did take my oldest up to college - UNC Chapel Hill.

He worked really hard through high school to get in, and I was sure proud of him. His grades were high, he earned Eagle Scout, swam on the swim team and worked at the YMCA.

He had the early check in, so we got Bojangles biscuits on the way. He really loves those biscuits, and I haven't seen a Bojangles close to UNC. He may find one, but freshmen can't have cars.

We picked up his dorm key and unloaded all his stuff. It didn't seem like he took a lot, but the Xterra was packed to the top. It took around an hour to get everything in and put away.

I discovered that guys pack funny. He must have had 50 pairs of socks and only one change of underwear. Scratching head. I'll be mailing more underwear tomorrow and also hangers.

We ate at Top of the Hill for lunch. That's on Franklin Street and on the top floor where you can see the town. I wanted to take him somewhere nice while I was there. He has a meal plan and some flex dollars to eat on campus. He's used to home cooking, but I'm sure he'll be fine.

I went around with the kid to make sure he was signed up for the meal plan and had some money on his One Card. We also picked up his textbooks. College textbooks are sure expensive, but I guess everyone knows that.

I wanted to meet his roommate who had a later check in, but there's not much parking at UNC and especially on move in day. So I guess I will meet him later. My kid did email and say his roommate and his family were really nice. That was good to hear.

On the way home, I stopped at Trader Joe's. We don't have one around here, so that was a treat and something to take my mind off leaving my kid at college. I got treats for my younger son and for my Mom who were waiting to hear all about the big day in Chapel Hill.

It was a good day spending time with my son and talking. It was hard to leave him, but I'm glad he got in his first choice college and know that he'll have a lot more opportunities than he'd ever have here.

Feral Children - Kid Trespass Laws Need to be Changed

Why Should You Need a Chain Link Fence and Keep Out Signs?

Kids will be kids. I know that. I love kids. I have kids. They are my world. They make mistakes. Fine. I address those issues. Problem. Solution. Life goes on.

I won't even say that most kids are wild these days. I don't find that to be the case - at all. Most kids are decent little folks. They aren't perfect. Neither are adults. That's just life.

When little kids are out of control, I do know it's the parents to blame. When a three-year-old is on your front porch at midnight (which has happened at my house), then something is wrong at the home.

When these "ignored kids" get bigger, the problems get bigger. I'm talking about vandalism, stealing, and general bad behavior that impacts on everyone in the neighborhood.

Here are some specific examples of local kid trespass problems:

- Cut new glider to shreds with new pocketknives.
- Pull gutters off side of house.
- Turn hose on and stick in basement window.
- Bust cement up on back porch.
- Break glass up in yard.

And, the police can't do much of anything.

As the laws stand, you are up the creek. Kids get a free pass. The parents do too.

You can check that out.

You can tell kids to get off your property (and set yourself up as knowing that you have kid friendly areas in your yard) and post no trespassing signs (a waste of time).

No dice. The law says that if you have something on your land that might attract kids (like - what doesn't?), then you are liable. This is legally termed attractive nuisance.

You could not pay me to take a pool for free in this area. Pools are seen as attracting kids. Some parent does not watch his or her kid. The kid falls in your pool on your property, and you are toast. Legally you should be watching your pool versus the parents watching their kids.

Well, I'm still calling . . .

Yeah. You can call the police when kids trespass on your property. Good luck with that. The cops will tell you that they can't do much other than tell the parents to keep the kids off your land. The police can't help it. It's the laws that are wacked.

The police may go over and speak with the parents. Then, you're the bad guy.

Suggested Course of Action

The first course of action suggested if you have problems with kids on your property and not invited and even told to leave (and don't) is to contact the parents. Come on. If a toddler is in your garden day after day and walking in your front door when it's unlocked, then you know good and well the parents don't care. When the kids get bigger and the parents just want them out of their hair, then it moves on to vandalism when you say something.

Time to Change the Laws

The laws concerning children and traspassing flat needs to be changed. If you buy land and a house and if you pay taxes and even report problems early on, then you should not be held responsible when some kid climbs your tree and falls out and breaks his or her leg. The parents opted to have kids. The parents ought to keep up with them. If something happens, then it's on them - not on some person who has no clue and just happens to own a house and a little bit of land (or a lot) - or it should be.

Really, check out the laws on the books. You do not have a leg to stand on if you have a kid skip over your property line and get hurt. It's not the parents who don't bother to look outside and see where the kids are and what they're doing. It's the property owner who must jump through all manner of hoops to make sure that nothing might attract kids or hurt kids on land they own and should not have to share with the world.

Edwards Confesses - Had Sex - Didn't Father Child - We'll See . . .

John Edwards Affair - I'm So Shocked - NOT!

The National Enquirer got it right. John Edwards did sex up an employee that he met in a bar and paid thousands to make internet clips. Where are those Edwards net clips? Hum. Does it matter. Do you really think that's what he paid over a $100,000 for especially when this was a woman with no real experience in much of anything (other than maybe between the sheets)?

Now, John Boy is certainly not the first - nor will he be the last politician to do the dirty. He just didn't play it well. He should have called Bill Clinton (for advice) who managed to get by saying he didn't inhale and didn't partipate in the blow job. Frankly I don't have much respect for someone who doesn't inhale and just stands there. Doesn't sound like a good date to me. Kind of like drinking beer and not swallowing or taking a shower with no soap.

I suppose the big deal with John Edwards is that his wife has terminal cancer. As well, she has class. The public probably had a much harder time relating to and feeling bad for Hilary. I'd wager a good many figured Bill had a right to find some loving somewhere. John Edwards - naw. He had a sick wife by his side and then her standing tall even when it probably got as bad as it could get for a devoted wife.

Elizabath Edwards did know about the affair and had processed that. I'm not saying she was happy about it or that it didn't and doesn't break her heart. But, she stayed and smiled and supported her man. Frankly, I'm not sure that's the high road, but I haven't walked in her shoes. The "stand by your man" theme is dominant in our society. Elizabeth is also a woman with a cancer time bomb ticking. That puts her in a bad spot. It's not like she has time to cut out and start all over.

The other woman . . . She must really hate that tacky wild hair photo they are showing on the news. Rielle Hunter is attractive. You don't really think John Edwards is going to bed a woman for thousands of dollars who looks like a witch do ya? He met this chick in a bar. Go figure. Then he thought he'd hire her and bed her. Or, maybe it was the other way around. Still waiting for the sordid details.

This John Edwards scandal might have been swept under the carpet. He certainly spent enough to sweep the scandal somewhere. The big problem in terms of spin is that a baby turned up. Edwards says it isn't his. This is the same guy who said he didn't sleep with the woman. Want to place some bets on it? I don't even know where I'd put my money on that one.

Edwards says he wants to take a paternity test. Edwards is singing - "That Baby Don't Look Like Me." He also has a staff member who was willing to take the "rap" but also seems to have made a living off being an Edwards whore. I'd say they ought to take it to the Montel show. They love those baby daddy shows there on Montel.

Does it really matter if Edwards fathered a baby or not? If the deed is the seed, then he's guilty as sin. Then he capped it off with lies, lies, lies. He should have stuck with - "no comment"- like McCain in reference to this scandal. McCain probably doesn't want to get into trading in for a newer model. Edwards shouldn't have done the "dare ya" and tried to bluff. Gary Hart could have told him that wouldn't work.

Yeah. Edwards messed up. He covered up. He ran and hid in the bathroom (so very not cool). Then, he thought he'd come clean. Out. Out. Damn spot. Don't think it's going to work hon. Confession is much better for the soul when you didn't get caught red handed and let with few other choices.

Edwards ought to think about keeping his wallet in his pocket and his zipper zipped. That might be a better plan. And so simple. DUH! I could have told him that, and it wouldn't have even cost him thousands of dollars. My advice is free. My body is not for sale. Makes life much easier.

Neighbors from Hell are Back - No Fence High Enough

Putting Up the Princeton Panels Fence on One Side of the House

I'm sure we could all compare horror stories about neighbors. I prefer not to go into detail. Let's just say that I was granted a one year protection order, and the neighbor got suspended jail time and probation. So, I'm not just spouting off. This was serious.

The neighbor moved after she had her day in court. But, now she is back. And, of course, the protection order and probation are up.

If she does threaten me or the boys with bodily harm or with threats to property damage to our face (not second hand to others), the procedure is to go to the magistrate and file. Then you take off work to go to court again and again. The lawyers hope you can't afford to take off work and will give up if they keep getting extensions. You are not notified of this. You take the time and show up and then get told when to come again. That stinks.

In any case, I kept showing up. The judge found in my favor. Given the fact that I never said but one sentence to the woman ever and only when she asked a question rather than the usual curse fest and jumping up and down on the porch like one with mental problems, she really didn't have much to say. Her defense was that she was moving.

End of that . . . until now.

I see the neighbors from hell have moved back. This happened yesterday.

Fortunately, I had put up a fence on one of the property lines. I got a Princeton Panel fence. It's a 6 foot privacy fence. The lot is big (close an acre), so I only got one line covered at $3000. You can do the math. I really could not afford to do the entire yard. The other issue was that I have some trees on or close the line at the back. The trees would have to be cut down and stumps ground out - also expensive.

I must say that I'm very glad I do have the one side fenced now. This may perhaps prevent the neighbor's kids from cutting through my yard and cutting up my new glider as well as busting the cement on my porch and putting holes in the shed floor.

Maybe I will win the lottery. I suppose I'd have to buy a ticket though. I have been very happy with the privacy fence - but only wish I could get it on all four sides instead of just the one.

Keen - Newport H2 Shoes for Water Sports

Check Out My Keen Newport Water Shoes

I have balked at buying REAL water shoes. Mostly I've worn bobo tennis shoes from Wal-Mart and then some reef runners. Those are not brand name reef runners. They are also bobos.

Yes. Real water shoes are expensive. That's why I've stuck with my bobos.

I did not know what I was missing, or I would have sucked it up and bought some decent water shoes long ago.

My Keen water shoes got broken in at the beach. The sand does run through the shoes, but it washes out really easy. Same thing in creeks. I get some mud with the sides open, but I can pull the Keen water shoes off and rinse them, put them on and be ready to roll again.

When the water shoes get dirty, and they will if you really do water sports like white water rafting, you just toss them in the washing machine. They come out looking as good as new.

There are a lot of different types of water shoes, but I can say that Keen is excellent. Keen is also an earth friendly company, and I like that too.

Some water shoes are more closed in like tennis shoes. My son got some of those. He's rougher on his shoes than I am (and he's a guy). I like the open sandal kind of look but with a toe guard and a strap to keep them on. Another plus is that the Keen shoes have a band to pull to make a custom fit. My feet are very slim, so hack around shoes like Crocs just fall right off me. I also love the red color. I'm so vain. Colors do turn my head, but it's quality that keeps me. I'm sold on quality water shoes now. No more bobos. Nope. No comaparison. These feel and look much better.

Paddlefest 2008 - High Rock Lake - Denton NC

It's Fun to Get Together with Other Kayakers

The kayak group that my son joined, HRL Paddlers, is hosting Paddlefest next weekend - August 9 and 10, 2008 at High Rock Lake (near Salisbury, NC - not far from Charlotte either).

My son is really excited about this event and has been talking about it all week. He's been calling around to his Boy Scout buddies to see if others want to join in the fun.

If you've never been kayaking, you ought to give it a try. It really is fun to be on the water in a small craft. It's even more fun if you have a group to paddle with. HRL Paddlers is great. They help folks get started with kayaking. If you're in North Carolina or even over in South Carolina, check them out. If you're in another area, see if you can find a kayak group. You'll learn a lot and make new friends with common interests.

I'm not sure how common such kayak or water sport groups are. You can also check around and find companies that host kayak, canoe and white water trips. Those are fun as well. That's how we got started. If you sign up for an organized trip, then you don't have to invest in gear from the start. You get an idea of what water sports are like and whether this is something you want to do big times.

Orientation at UNC Chapel Hill Went Fine

My Son Getting to Know His Campus - UNC

My kid made it to and back from orientation at UNC Chapel Hill without any problems. He enjoyed the visit to campus and got signed up for his classes. He got everything he wanted except for Spanish (which he may be able to pick up next month).

He also picked up his laptop computer. They want all the kids to have the same one and service there on campus, but kids can bring their own (but can't get help on campus if they do that).

The other thing they do at orientation is get a One Card. That's through Wachovia bank (with no fees) and is basically a debit card from what I can tell.

I had planned to drive my kid up to UNC but not to stay. Back when I went to NC State, no one (but no one) had parents at orientation. Apparently most parents do go with kids to college orientation now (in case any parents are wondering about that). It really wasn't an option though, because I had jury duty the day he left for orientation.

The kid-o is home safe and sound. He got iTunes loaded on that new laptop and also set it up with fingerprint identification. Pretty fancy - that.

I did mention that it would be a problem to have the computer locked with fingerprint ID if he ever got in an accident (can we all say - mother hen). The kid says, "Just bring it to the hospital and stick my finger on it." I asked him which finger, and he said I could just try them all (-:

I think this "going off to college" thing is harder on parents than kids.

That's the End of Jury Duty for Me - for at least two years

Yippee! The Judge Set Us Free Before Lunch

I'd never been called for jury duty before, so I guess it was my time to serve. That's what the letter said anyway. I did get mine put off until the summer. I teach public speaking, so that was going to be a problem if I got a long trial. There's just no way to get a substitute for speeches. All I had to do was go to the court house and fill out a paper explaining why I'd like to serve later. They were nice about that - here anyway.

On my scheduled day (yesterday) I went down to the court house. They had a note with directions (to the jury room) at the check in point. There's a list of things you can't bring in. One is a cell phone with a camera built in. Mine doesn't have a camera, and I didn't have it with me anyway. It's a good idea to check before, so you don't have to run back to your car to leave things you're not supposed to have. My mom had to take her sewing scissors back one time.

I signed my name and sat down in a waiting room. I thought I'd need to show ID, but I didn't. Just signed and sat.

We sat for a pretty long while. Then a man went over the basics of jury duty and showed us a video. First he turned on a kid movie by accident which made everyone laugh. Then we got the right movie.

In the meantime, I guess I was bored and also itching. I scratched a mosquito bite on my arm which then started to bleed. The nice man in charge had band-aids. He gave me one.

We watched CNN for a while. Everyone was very quiet and serious until the CNN anchor said a Japanese man had come up with a novel way to make money online. He does elderly porn. Collectively the entire room laughed.

We didn't get to see the story about the elderly porn man, because they gave us a break. Well, some people stayed in there. I went out and got some peanut butter crackers. They had some snack machines - mostly empty of snacks.

Finally the judge called us in the court room. We filed in and lined up in the courtroom on the benches kind of like at church. It was cold, cold, cold in there. Maybe they keep it real cold for the judges in those big robes or maybe for criminals who may be sweaty. In any case, I strongly suggest taking a jacket to court even if it is the middle of the summer and hot enough to fry eggs on your car hood.

They randomly called out 12 names. Those people had to go up to the jury box and sit in the chairs. The rest of us just sat in the audience and listened as the judge and then the lawyer asked some questions.

One man must have wanted out of jury duty pretty bad. When the judge asked if anyone knew any of the lawyers, that guy said that he'd seen one of them on TV. Then the guy said the lawyer's commercials were tacky and that he ought to be ashamed of himself. This guy said that the lawyer had himself a good education and all and that he looked like an ambulance chaser.

Well, guess you did not have to stay and serve on the jury? That's one way out I suppose.

I've seen the commercials too, and I don't have a problem with them. But, they didn't ask me anything.

The TV lawyer did not ask the questions for his side, but he probably should have. The lawyer asking the questions kept going off on tangents about "burden of proof" and other things that flat didn't make sense. The judge kept telling the lawyer, "Just ask questions." Then, off that lawyer would go again. He must have jumbled up his question list too, because he kept asking the same questions. The judge even put his head in his hands. He also told the lawyer that he could not ask the whole group and get a "yes" by show of hands and then keep singling out individual potential jury members and asking the same thing again. We all sat there with our poker faces and tried not to notice that the questions were not going well.

That took a good bit of time with the lawyer seeming more confused than those of us who had never been to court, but the time limit came around.

The defending side got a shot at the jury box the next day (today), so we all came back except the man who hates lawyer commercials and two other ladies let go on day one. It was supposed to be another day of questions but by the other side.

Today it was much the same, but we got to watch ballgames on TV while waiting. It felt just like home, since my son has those on all the time. I just gabbed with the lady beside me. You can talk in the waiting room though no one talked much the first day. I did talk a little to a guy who likes to barbecue and told him about my web site - Yes You Can Grill. He said I should try smoking some salmon, and I think I'll do that.

Finally we all go back in the court room. The judge tells us that the case is dismissed. They can try it again within a year if they want. But - no case this week. No reason why.

You could look around and see a lot of "yippee" looks.

But . . . the judge said we might have another trial we could do. They had called those lawyers and would let us know.

Back to the waiting room.

The other case wasn't ready, so they cut us loose. This was about lunch time. I went to Wal-Mart to try to find one of those new steam mops, but they didn't have any (guess I'll have to order online). Then, I got lunch for me and the kid at BoJangles. He was glad to see me home early - or maybe just glad to see a box of chicken and fixings.

The court officials said we'd done our part. We can't be called any sooner than two years to serve jury duty (which is drawn from both voting lists and driver's license lists). We also get paid. They didn't say how much, and no one asked. I didn't even know we got paid. Some man told me he got $12 the last time he did it. Hum. Perhaps it will cover the gas for two trips to town.

That's all I can tell you about jury duty. It was mostly just sitting around and waiting. There was no case in the end, and it's back to normal around here. I'm glad to do my duty, but I'm glad I won't spend a beautiful summer week or two in a cold court room.

The Kid Made it Up to UNC - That's About All I Know

Big Old Tree Behind My Son's Dorm at UNC Chapel Hill

My kid got up and out this morning about 5 a.m. and called me about 8 to let me know that he arrived at UNC. I did ask him if he was actually parked. Yes - Mom. And, I asked him if it was a legal space. They don't mess around up there about that parking. Put the car in the wrong spot, and it is tow city.

I had to go on to jury duty. I can't tell you a thing about that. That is the law. I see, hear, and speak no court case until I am picked or not and done.

When I got home I tried to call the child out of the nest. He is either very busy at UNC or he did not remember to take his cell phone charger. This is probably a toss up, so I will not worry on it.

The younger son and I ate some pretty gross heat up chicken nuggets and seasoned frozen fries that were not much better. I'm thinking to hit a fast food joint on the way home from jury duty tomorrow, because that heat up dinner just did not do it. I'd rather cook from scratch and may, since I have a lot of time to sit and think while waiting to do my duty to my country on the jury - though I may not need to. It just depends on how the dice roll tomorrow.

Off to UNC Chapel Hill in a Couple of Weeks

Visiting My Son's Dorm at UNC Chapel Hill

My older son graduated from high school this year and heads to UNC Chapel Hill in a couple of weeks. That was his top pick college, and he was excited to get in and looks forward to being a Tarheel.

Today is my kid's orientation. I was a bit nervous about him driving up by himself, but I have jury duty later today (my first time). He did call when he got there, so I guess that worked out fine.

We've visited UNC a couple of times. In fact, we dropped by last week on the way home from the beach to see his dorm. It's right on Franklin Street. Ut oh! It is a small dorm though, so it should be easier to meet and get to know new people.

College is a big adjustment. I remember! Having a child go off to college will be a big adjustment too I think. I'm excited for my son, but I'm sure going to miss him.

Kayaking on the Yadkin - A Good Day for My Son

My Son Kayaking Near the Waterfall

I've always heard that the teen years were really tough ones for parents (and for many teens too). I have not found that to be the case. My boys are great, and I'd rather spend time with them than anything else I can think of to do.

Sometimes other parents ask me, "What's your secret?"

I wouldn't begin to take credit for my boys being fine young men. They could make other decisions. They don't. I am blessed.

If I had to make a suggestion, I'd say that it's important to spend time with kids and also to make sure that you support their interests. Bored kids are going to be more likely to get into stuff.

When the boys were little I made sure they had all kinds of experiences. We went to libraries, shows, programs and even to watch a dance recital of the Wizard of Oz featuring some of the little girls from their classes. I wasn't looking to influence their interests. I just wanted them to have a chance to see what all is out there and make their own decisions about what they might like to get involved in.

My youngest especially loves water sports. He was probably about three years old when we took our first canoe ride. Over the years we have gone white water rafting several times. He took to all that like (cliche) - a duck to water.

After saving up his money, the kid bought a kayak. He did the research and found a used one on Craig's List.

He went up to the Bull Hole (a small local park) to kayak, but he missed having others around to enjoy the trips. So, he went back online and found HRL Paddlers. That's a local (or pretty close) kayak group. It's mostly adults - but also a few kids and teens. He got in touch and set up a trip.

Yesterday he took his second trip with the group.

My son really looks forward to the kayak trips and keeps checking back to see if the photos from his trips are ready, so he can show them to me. We check them out and talk about his travels.

If you have kids, try to give them lots of opportunities to check out fun things to do. Some things they will not get excited about. My youngest son would never want to get in front of a group and dance or act.

Now and then, a kid will find his or her passion. My son really gets excited about the water. I never knew that would be something he'd love back when we took the first canoe trip. In fact, he was kind of scared of the water during his preschool years. Now, he's like a fish. He loves to swim and will ride any watercraft he can get his hands on.

The kayak club has been great for my son. He gets to do something he loves and gets to do it with others who enjoy the same passion.

*I'd like to thank Neal and other members of the groups for making and sharing photos.